Why do I care so much about what happens to my children? About how they turn out? My parents didn’t even care half as much! They didnt have ( or make 🤔 ) the time to ! ( This is my interpretation of course.. )
Why do I refuse to accept anything but the best for them when so many people settle for something mediocre? Why do I go out of my way to provide, nurture, support, defend, change, grow.. ?
Is this another symptom of my perfectionism?
Should I just let go and see where life takes us? ‘Surf the waves’ ? Or should I aim for somewhere in between?
It’s not like we can actually protect our kids from everything bad.. not like we can shape their present and future to be trouble-less..
Why do we fight so hard then? Why do we insist on protecting them, their freedom, their happiness, even if it means going against the mercy-less current and damaging ourselves in the process? Is it worth it? Will they grow up to be thankful for our choices and sacrifices or will they reproach us for them? Reproach that we didn’t do more… That we didn’t do things differently.. Is there a point in trying to give them the best possible start in life within ones personal circumstances?
A popular opinion now-a-days seems to be that choices are just that, choices and nothing more.
Because whatever your kids grow up to be ( like ) will be just as good. Because no life path is superior to another and because you’ll love your children no matter what. Cesarean and vaginal delivery, breast and bottle, punishment and developmentally appropriate support, need fulfillment and ignoring needs, schooling and unschooling, … it’s all the same! There is no difference in the result! So why bother with the stress? Why torment yourself with the anguish?
I can kind of see how one could ( erroneously imo ) come to this conclusion. But although I try, I really can’t follow this logic.. The way I see it, all actions have consequences. Some more favorable than others.. So of course things, choices, actions matter! Why else would we have fought so hard to protect our right to chose than? Why else would we bother to stride for our choices, to vindicate them ?
I believe that we should try our hardest to nurture our littles to the best of our abilities. That obviously means trying to make the most advantageous choices. It’s just what nature intends us to do. A more evolved ‘survival of the fittest’, in which our ability to make good decisions influences the survival rate. If I’m correct, we should carefully weigh our options and their outcomes. And luckily we can learn form one another! So let’s all thrive together, what do you say?